Sometimes our scenes require us to drop into a heighten emotional space. Actors often get nervous when they see 'she cries' in the stage directions. And so they ask "How do I cry on cue?" And while it is vital to know how to access our emotional vulnerability - developing the ability to cry on cue is not our job as an actor. Placing our focus on making ourselves cry can be a harmful and ineffective approach to our work as actors.
CRYING ISN'T THE GOAL
When it comes to tackling an emotional scene, it's vital that we understand, that crying isn't the goal. Our work as actors is about being vulnerable and emotionally available. And there is nothing that can close us off more quickly than the demand that we have to cry.
PERSONAL MEMORIES AREN'T SUSTAINABLE
Re-experiencing a personal memory will suck us into our own private emotional experience and disconnect us from our scene partner. Using a personal memory will force the actor to re-traumatize themselves. This practices is harmful and the process of trudging up a real experience of trauma is unsafe, and ultimately, not sustainable. This perpetuates the idea that the only way we can be authentic in our work is through emotional self-harm. And that is categorically not true.
MEMORY WORK ISN'T CONSISTENT
Eventually, our memories will lose their power. Our brains will actively work to protect us from trauma and prevent us from accessing grief. We will become desensitized, numb, and emotionally unavailable. We need our performances to be sustainable and repeatable. If we use anything that re-traumatizes or enacts actual harm - it will be impossible to recreate consistently (and safely)
WE NEED SEPARATION FROM OUR ROLE.
While exploring traumatic content, we need to maintain our awareness of our actual reality. This is both for our physical and emotional safety. When we are experiencing an activated state of hypo-arousal - it is nearly impossible to be aware of our actual surroundings. o have some sense of control - some awareness of our actual reality. It is vital that we build practices that allow us to de-role and separate ourselves from the characters we play.
SOMEONE MAKING YOU CRY IS ICKY
If parents attempt to get their children to cry - sets up a weird dynamic. Having a director or coach or teacher try to force tears isn't much better. No one should be actively trying to make an actor cry. It is a harmful practice. And it's nearly impossible to know where the line is between 'coaching' and emotionally abusing the actor. There are lot's of times where people might cry - but otherwise be disconnected or emotionally unavailable. If we make crying the goal - we are missing the point. And more importantly - if we are causing ourselves or others harm in pursuit of that goal - we are doing it wrong.
PLANNING THE OUTCOME DISCONNECTS US
Crying on cue is an outcome centered approach. Anything that is outcome based will ultimately make the actor feel manipulated - rather than empowered. It puts our focus on our external appearance rather than our authentic experience. Playing the outcome paints us into a corner.
It forces us to disregard anything that might actually might be happening in our scene in the pursuit of creating an emotional response. Our obligation is to the story. It is not about us. It is not about personal emotional journey.
It is about being connected, responding authentically, and having the bravery to let all of that be seen.
INSTEAD: SHIFT YOUR FOCUS
EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY IS THE WORK
Being an actor means embracing the vulnerability of letting ourselves been seen - even at our worst moments. We have to work to find openness - even when every instinct is telling us to hide. It is from this place of open-heartedness that truthful, in-the-moment connection is possible. Exposing our most private selves requires technique and courage.
It isn't a parlor trick you accomplish in a five minute exercise. And it is certainly not something you can figure out in time for an audition deadline. We spend years training in physical relaxation, focus, and emotional access. This is where the real work happens. Our work demands that we lean into discomfort. We must allow ourselves to be affected by our scene partners and our environment.
PLAY THE ACTION - NOT THE RESPONSE
Crying is our bodies natural response to heighten emotional states - which can include joy or sorrow or relief. When our bodies cry - we alleviate that tension. It is quite literally a cathartic release of physical tension. Crying activates our parasympathetic nervous system - and releases endorphins. It is our bodies natural response to pain, stress, or distress. So rather than trying to create the outcome of tears - its more helpful to create for ourselves a heightened need that fuels our actions. When we desperately need something from our scene partner- it costs us something when we fail. When we endow these imaginary circumstances as our reality - we will inevitably experience a heightened emotional responses as the scene unfolds It’s easier and more fun for an actor to play an action. Rather than "try to cry" it is way more interesting and active to play “fight to make her wake up” or “blame her for leaving our mom” " begging him to take me back". These active choices give us something real to DO rather than to feel. When an obstacle pops up in our scene - our bodies will experience an emotional responses. And what is fantastic about that - is it grants us the freedom for spontaneity. We are actually more emotionally available when we don't plan our emotional responses. Humans aren't always so predictable - we often laugh when we are hurt and we cry when we are grateful. Staying focused on the action opens us up to be available to whatever surfaces from moment to moment - rather than what we planned to feel.
EXPLORATION RATHER THAN OBLIGATION
I know this might be a little divisive - but we don't always have to follow the stage directions. Often times, the stage directions are describing what the camera sees. These words are trying to translate action into a visual medium. The storytelling lies in describing what is happening externally. But internally? That is the stuff actors invent. It is personal and subjective - and the audience will never know what it is we are doing as we experience a scene. But the moment we start taking every stage direction literally - we become trapped by obligation. Obligation makes our work a chore. It paints the scene in one color without any room for exploration. It feels external and inauthentic- and it often is the death of creativity. If we perform a moment as an actor - soley from a place of obligation (ie "the script tells me to" )- we are cutting ourselves off from our impulses. We are stopping ourselves from exploring where else the scene might go. The reality of an emotional experience - like crying - is that as humans we never want to cry. In any given moment - our characters are fighting their emotional experiences. They don't want other people to see their weakness or vulnerability. So the moment we start 'trying" to cry - we are immediately out of sync with our characters. But when we let go of the obligation to cry - we actually become more free and emotionally available-- we aren't limited by the small scope of a stage direction - we can allow our authentic responses unravel as they will from moment to moment.
That a grounded read of a scene will always be more effective than a scene where the actor is visibly trying to cry. An honest, believable tear-less scene is better than a scene that is emotionally forced or disconnected.
FINAL THOUGHTS: IMAGINATION OVER EXPERIENCE
“Don’t use your conscious past. Use your creative imagination to create a past that belongs to your character. I don’t want you to be stuck with your own life. It’s too little.”
― Stella Adler
Our imagination is a thousand times more powerful than our personal lived experiences. Imagination allows us to explore our character's journey, without the risk of living in their specific situation. It opens us up to infinite possibilities. Past experiences are fixed- available to us only as they actually occurred.
But imagination is limitless. The realm of imagination offers us countless variations to explore. It is a vital tool that takes years to cultivate. Our work demands that we summon the courage to commit to our imagined circumstances.
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